Love is the answer
Conceived at the end of 1944 in the Second World War, I came into the world on August 20th 1945, very few days after the atomic bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and very soon after hostilities with Japan ceased. These were troubled times and I was destined to lead a rather troubled and unsettled life.
Before me there were three brothers and two miscarriages; my mother’s desperation and determination to have a daughter must have been for my quiet yet intelligent father almost impossible to withstand. Hard times, rationed food, and constant concern about family safety in wartime was enough to worry about, without looking for more babies to feed and more pressure on the severely limited household finances.
The fourth boy, and not the desperately desired girl, had arrived. My childhood was one of limitations of every sort. Obedience and acceptation formed the basis of my early life until I was 18 years old. My Methodist mother sought after some kind of future success for me through strict, unreasoned control and an unyielding ‘Do as I say’ philosophy. Life was hard and I certainly was not given the opportunity to be who I was, but rather a timid puppet whose strings were pushed and pulled by the times and by my mother. My father had no option but to stay resignedly on the sidelines suffering the onslaught of another mouth to feed, more clothes to find and even more years of hard, routine work before the responsibility of bringing up children would be off his shoulders and he could finally retire in peace to his world of reading and gardening.
From an early age, and after repeated efforts in vain to get the longed-for daughter, I was on my own in a puritanical Methodist environment with three visits to chapel every Sunday and where love, kisses and hugs were almost completely substituted by stiff upper lip, ‘Be seen and not heard’, and by good behaviour and obedience. There was little room for the personal needs of the individual child; I, like each child, was different and perhaps like many children needed closer observation and attention.
Now, looking back on my childhood and helped by the experience and wisdom of the 67 years gone by, I would like to share with anyone who would like to lend an ear, my simple ideas for a better world. Indeed this humble, heartfelt love I have now talked about and missed, I believe is of immense if not vital importance in our rapidly changing world; the openness to accept, to acknowledge, to cherish and to respect the other. Love, I feel, is the open look of the eyes, the honest smile, the soft, friendly touch, the listening ear and the kindly word from one’s fellow man. How different the world would be if we truly loved one another as the Bible tells us so clearly so to do.
Each of us around the world, no matter our age, race, colour, sexual orientation or beliefs, wants and needs to be loved. We call out with simple longing for recognition, tolerance and a place in the other’s heart. We look for the friendly, spontaneous greeting, and long to feel accepted, included and understood. Away with selfishness, haughtiness, intolerance, exclusion and differentiation and bring on instead simplicity, equality, and the childlike feelings we all once had and which we have too easily set aside and so easily discredited and disowned. We are all God’s people, we are essentially all the same.
It is the quiet and humble acknowledgement of man’s equality with man and not the technological advance and political dispute we see all around us, which will take us forward in happiness to a truly better future. It is, I believe, simple, kind, healthy thoughts which bring healthy, positive minds. It is then in turn these healthy minds which will lead to international human and social wellbeing. Simply loving one another is I suggest the only pathway into the future and to a better world for us all, the human race.
Harvey Higgins was born in Yate, South Gloucestershire, England. He is a teacher and currently Director of the English Language School in Cantabria, Spain.